Should We Hang Out?
Why is it that we hang out with the people we do?
Is it because they’re brilliant, kind, and totally get us?
Indeed, I now firmly believe that we should ONLY hang out with people who are all three.
People who are brilliant, kind and totally get us.
AND totally get us.
Brilliant and kind are quite common, I find! I know so many brilliant and kind people. :) They shine. They are great. They’re all around! Yay for brilliance and kindness!
However, not all brilliant and kind people get me. So often, I have hung out with people who I wanted to get me. People with whom I thought it would just be really neat if we clicked! And if they totally got me, and if I totally got them! Yeah! That would be really fun!
But I now know that wanting someone to get me is very different from them actually getting me. They may be soooo brilliant. And they may be incredibly KIND. But they don’t get me. Oh man - I want them to get me! But we just don’t quite…CLICK.
This is more obvious for romantic relationships. It’s like we’re hardwired to know if we click with a potential love interest. No click? No deal. But friendships? It seems less obvious. So we (or at least, I) try to squeeze into our friendships, because…maybe one day we’ll just click.
Nah. Doesn’t work that way.
By acknowledging when a friend doesn’t click for me, I also give myself permission to click only as fits. I’d encourage you to do the same. Ask yourself - does this person truly get me? If they don’t, that’s okay. Let ‘em go, and recognize that you are both brilliant and kind for doing so. And if they do?
Then definitely - most definitely - hang out.
P.s. I feel like this is a classic lesson to be learned in one’s 30s. Or maybe for you advanced kids, you got this in your 20s. I’m learning it now, and it feels so good!